What If? Meredith's Death
by needtakehave
Summary: What if instead of Meredith coming back to life in Season 3, she had died and not been revived? What would happen to the people in her life and those around her in Seattle Grace?


**Meredith**: -narrating- "Disappearances happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away, tumors go missing, and we open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It's unexplained. It's rare, but it happens. We call it mis-diagnosis. Say we never saw it in the first place, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears... do we miss it?"

**Meredith**: "You ever feel like you're disappearing?"

**Izzie**: "All the time."

**Meredith**: "Why can't I just be the happily ever after person? Why can't I believe in that?"

**Izzie**: "I don't know what I believe in anymore."

**Meredith**: -to **Ellis-** "You think that I like making these decisions for you? You think it's fun to get calls from the nursing home asking whether I was planning on giving the nurse, who changes you every morning a Christmas tip? But I do it. Because you have managed to alienate everybody else in your life and I am the only one, so I have to step up and do it. You wanna know why I'm so unfocused? So ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You! You happened to me!"

**Ellis**: "What happened to you?"

**Meredith**: "What do you mean?"

**Ellis**: "You're happy? You're happy now? The Meredith I knew was a force of nature. Passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to you? You've gone soft! Stammering about a boyfriend and saying you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me? I have a disease for which there is no cure, I think that would be inspiration enough! Listen to me, Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy! But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you are no more than... ordinary! What happened to you?"

**Ellis**: "Then let me refuse the heart surgery."

**Meredith**: "No!"

**Ellis**: "Why not?"

**Meredith**: "Because killing my mother is not gonna be another thing that happens to me."

**Meredith**: -narrating- "Like I said, disappearances happen. Pains go phantom. Blood stops running and people, people fade away. There's more I have to say, so much more, but... I disappeared."

**Miranda**: "What do we got?"

**Paramedic**: "Jane Doe. She's hypothermic and dropping."

**Derek**: "She's not Jane Doe. It's Meredith Grey. It's Meredith!"

**Richard**: "That's Ellis Grey's little girl!"

**Preston**: "We're all on the same side here, Chief."

**Christina**: "It's Meredith?"

**Alex**: "Yeah."

**Christina**: "Are you sure? Did you see her? Because it could be any-"

**Alex**: "It's Meredith."

**Christina**: -in disbelief- "Oh... Oh."

**Preston**: "The Chief is working on her."

**Derek**: "He threw me out."

**Preston**: "What do you need?"

**Derek**: "I need you to go in there."

**Dylan**: "Meredith... This is not your brain on drugs. This is death. You are dead. You are really freaking dead. You're dirt nap dead. No more 'you' dead."

**Denny**: "Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He's still an optimist! He still believes in true love and magic and soulmates. He's waiting for you. And if you don't come back from this, you will change who he is."

**Derek**: "I wanna go in there."

**Addison**: "No."

**Derek**: "There's a risk of brain damage. I need to go in there."

**Addison**: "Derek, you can't. Not for Meredith, not for anybody. You're in no shape."

**Derek**: "Tell me."

**Addison**: "Her temp's still 86. There's still no heartbeat. We're hoping once she warms up..."

**Addison**: "It's not good."

**Christina**: "Is she still cyanotic? What was her initial temp? I mean, what is taking so long?"

**Addison**: "Dr. Yang! It's not good. They're doing everything they can. You should maybe... um... prepare yourselves."

**Christina**: "Prepare ourselves? That's what we tell the families before we call time of death."

**Christina**: "Try again!"

**Derek**: "I don't... I just... That day, when you came out of the water ...trying to breathe for you. I love you, and I want you, but I don't know what to... you didn't swim. You didn't swim and you know how to. And I don't know if I can... I don't know if I wanna keep trying to breathe for you."

**Meredith**: -pauses, shocked- "I should go. I'll go."

Six months had passed since the day Dr. Meredith Grey had been brought back to life and Dr. Ellis Grey had died or passed on. Even to this day, doubts drifted throughout everyone who personally knew Meredith and even those who didn't (rumors and the like) if she had purposely been trying to kill herself or 'given up' as the term had been coined in the hospital behind her back. She came to work everyday and but was never put back on full duty. Richard just couldn't do it. Not after Ellis had died the very same day and after almost losing her right in front of him. It would have been like losing his own daughter. He made sure she was put on lighter duties. She complained, often and furiously, saying her career would suffer and she'd never finish her internship this way but he promised this would not in anyway effect it. The relationship between Derek and Meredith would something of a joke – on the outside it looked perfect but inside, they slept on the opposite sites of the bed and rarely talked, etc. That day – the day Meredith died changed her life forever.


End file.
